Shoes on water, with only the sillhouette of a person standing in the reflection.

Poetry: Autism Is Invisible2 min read

Autism is invisible.

The autism was invisible

When I said the TV was too loud.

The autism was invisible

When I asked why people say “how are you?” all the time.

The autism was invisible

When I bobbed up and down on the ball of my feet

When walking in the house.

The autism was invisible

When I screamed in pain as they brushed my hair.

The autism was invisible

When my family complained

that my restaurant choices were always prioritized,

because “the food’s not even that spicy!”

The autism was invisible

When my mouth was on fire for an hour

eating a “mildly spicy” chicken burrito.  I didn’t complain.

The autism was invisible

When I put my head down in class,

Reading to distract me from the auditory chaos and pain.

The autism was invisible

When my teacher told my mother that

“if I had a whole class just of her,

I would have a perfect class.”

The autism was invisible

When I got to orchestra early in the morning

To sit in silence in a room with no one

just to prepare myself for the chaotic school day.

The autism was invisible

When I said I’m having a rough day,

When I said they were talking too loudly,

When I complained about clothes that were too tight,

When I talked too much about the book Stiff,

When I was overwhelmed by emotion and couldn’t speak my opinion,

When I thought I might be an alien because I didn’t know

How to start conversations,

When I flailed my arms and legs on a couch

Because I couldn’t watch a movie someone promised me,

When I cried a lot over small things,

When I couldn’t stand my toenails being clipped,

When I couldn’t stand the temperature change when showering,

When I was 4 years old and crying in a movie theater from sensory pain,

The

Autism

Was

Invisible

To

Everyone

But

Me.

I’m not invisible anymore.

I’m just Autistic.

AutisticScienceLady

AutisticScienceLady is a neuroscience graduate student who is a late-diagnosed autistic person, and self-advocate.

Her blog can be found here: http://www.autisticsciencelady.wordpress.com

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4 Comments

  1. You’re trying to make me cry, aren’t you?

    You succeeded, by the way.  This is beautiful, and I have a feeling of shared experience.

  2. Simple words yet they make a very strong point, I felt what your were saying if that makes sense, it does to me.  Thank you.

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