Education Experiences Family Friendship Relationships

Dear Everyone, Please and Thank You.  Signed, Your Autistic Loved One2 min read

How to coexist with an autistic friend, relative, student, or child. An open letter to loved ones.

When you tell me I don’t have the difficulties that I experience on a daily basis, you damage me psychologically by making an already extremely confusing world for me even more so.

When you tell me to stop tapping, spinning, rocking, or making noises with my mouth, you are telling me to suppress my frustrations until I explode, or suppress my happiness and excitement until I no longer have those feelings to enjoy. 

When you attempt to modify my behavior to match that of the majority of the world, you are asking me to learn to be someone that is not me.  You are telling me that I’m not enough and I need to be someone different.  This is likely what I will believe for the remainder of my life.  Even modified and conforming to your standards, I will still be an outsider, just one with no self-esteem.

If you are attempting passive aggressiveness, it only confuses me.  It doesn’t work, so give it up. 

When you realize that you can’t possibly know what I experience, because you do not live inside my body and live my life, I feel understood.

When you leave me be while I tap, sing, sway, or any other form of stimming, you allow me a healthy process of expressing my feelings.  They will not be adequately expressed any other way.

When you don’t try to change me, I will be different.  I’m already different.  But what you are doing by NOT changing me, is not making me feel like my natural way of existing is something to be ashamed of.  You give me a chance to live differently with my self-esteem in tact. 

When you communicate with me by clear words, by ‘’meaning what you say and saying what you mean,” you open lines for true communication.  This is very appreciated, and so are you! 

Who are you?  You are teachers, counselors, doctors, therapists, coworkers, parents, spouses, friends, and family.

Who am I?  I am an autistic child OR adult, and student, sibling, spouse, patient, coworker, family, and friend.

2 comments

    1. Agreed!  It’s all about the communicating, I suspect that there are lots of great minds quietly out there.  Standard minds would do well to learn our language.

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